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AUTONOMY

  • in AUTONOMY
  • 2 min read

ATROPHY: Deucalion

23rd November, 1923 (I reckon)

Here we go again. You know, I almost drowned, when I was eight. I was playing with Anton close to a small river next to the place I grew up. But I slipped, (for real, that time!) I don't know how long I was underwater. Probably not more than a few seconds. But believe me, those can feel like an eternity when they could be your last. And worst of it all, there's this internal fight going on inside you. One part wants to desperately breathe, the other one prefers not to fill your lungs with water.  It's like a dance that goes on inside your mind, while you slowly exhaust yourself. And finally accept the water as your home.

  • in AUTONOMY
  • 3 min read

ATROPHY: Nova

22nd November, 1923 (I think)

Hey again. I wanted to save these, so they'd last me for a while. But my sitters took me out for a stroll, yesterday. And then they put a gun to my head. It's a weird feeling. I was so sure that they wouldn't pull the trigger. That didn't really help, though. Because even if you're almost 100% certain, there's always a chance you might be wrong. And if you being wrong means that you'll do die, it's enough to put the gears in your mind to work. I could never stop thinking about the how, where and when I'd die. In my thoughts, I always wanted to leave this world with grace. But when I couldn't even see the person that's holding my life in their hands, it really got to me. Killing someone can be a very intimate thing. You get to know each other in ways that cannot possibly be described. I saw the fire in little Apo's eyes crackle and flicker, just before it went out, forever. At that moment, there was nothing else in the world that mattered. Just him, and me. The person who died, and the person who killed. Sometimes when I was walking through the streets, I looked at other people and thought to myself: "What if that person over there was the one to kill me?" Because with one single action, that person could become one of the most important people in my life.